


How Do You Numb Your Skin

by ilyena_sylph



Series: Arden-Songfic [1]
Category: DC - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-28
Updated: 2006-07-28
Packaged: 2017-10-18 00:44:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/183121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilyena_sylph/pseuds/ilyena_sylph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy, about Dick, all because of Jan Arden's <span class="u">Insensitive</span> and my .mp3 player.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Do You Numb Your Skin

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  This is all [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/merfilly/profile)[**merfilly**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/merfilly/) and [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/coldfiredragon/profile)[**coldfiredragon**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/coldfiredragon/) and [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/wachey/profile)[**wachey**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/wachey/) 's faults, kay? I asked y'all to tell me _not_ to do this, and they did just the opposite! Barring dissenting opinions, I went ahead and wrote it.

The moment he started to wake, he knew something was wrong. Before he'd even opened his eyes, when he was still in that place where dreams feel real but so does the world, he knew. _He's gone_ was a terrible first thought to have, but as he rolled and slid his hand out over the bed, it hit him. The sheets were cold, and he'd have thought he'd simply dreamed it they weren't rumpled from the weight of another body.... and cool air blew from a window he was sure he'd closed.

The tightness in his throat surprised him--he'd thought he was long, _long_ over the need to grieve over his lover's ( _ex_ -lover, _ex_ -friend, ex- _everything_ ) vanishing acts. It seemed like not, though, given the hollow ache that had settled in his chest just under the tight heat in his throat. He coughed just to clear it away and the fact that he was suddenly glad that was the only reason his throat ached turned his stomach.

//Why did I let you in?// he asked himself and his long-gone... whatever Dick was to him anymore. His body still ached with the pleasant soreness of exhausting sex, but... he just wasn't going there, refused to make the comparison that would drive home just how pathetic he currently was. //Why did I let you _in_?// Into his heart again, into the house, into his bed and his body all _over_ again, after everything Dick'd done recently he'd still opened the bedroom window and pulled him inside when the soft taps caught his ear... Dick'd looked at him out of blue eyes and the blue-on-black of the suit and he'd let him in, hoping like an idiot that maybe something had--

Nothing'd changed. Dick was gone again, like nothing mattered. //How do you do it, Dick? How do you always do this? Is it that easy for you to stop feeling that your lips are still swollen? Do you really just stop feeling the rush, and the ache? How do you just... stop, and leave?//

All were questions he'd never get the answers to, because he'd never ask. He couldn't be that vulnerable in front of Dick anymore... he'd been able to once. Back when Dick really was still his best friend, his backup and ally and partner. Back when his blue eyes and bright white smile lit up whatever room he held center stage in instead of whiteout lenses and black armor casting nothing but grim coldness from the shadows he lurked in, he'd been able to tell, or ask, Dick anything, share any secret....

//Long damned time ago,// he sighed softly, shaking his head just a little. //I fell for you so hard, Dick... and I still can't stop, even when I should. Maybe you could tell me how to do it. Maybe, if I could ever ask, you'd tell me how you make yourself stop hearing my voice all the way down to your soul, how you managed to so easily free yourself from everything we've been to each other...//

//I wonder why you even came tonight... do you really think I'm that easy?// He flushed, remembering. //Guess I proved you right, if so...//

//Do you even remember how _good_ we used to be, or am I the only one?// He shook his head and bit his lip, getting up to close the window and change the sheets. He couldn't stand to sleep with the scent of Dick's sweat and scent and sex so close, not when he'd left again, vanished with the insensitivity he ought to be used to by now....

  
Unnoticed, unknown, unseen, a piece of paper slid further under the bed with a quiet rustle, familiar handwriting in a hasty scrawl,

'sorry Roy, trouble in the Haven, call me later, *unreadable erased* I didn't want to wake you up...

  


*erase* Dick.'


End file.
